sheer madness i tell you! (more evils of band)
by arpunk227
Summary: part three of evil band seris (part of Random stuff @ 8)...read on!


RANDOM STUFF @ 8  
  
MORE OF: MARCHING BAND: BEHIND THE PLUMES  
  
Caution! This band department does not own high tech gliders or any sorts of fancy equipment…This is actually a mix from the new "Spiderman" movie (and the movie is a beautiful one at that!() So sit back, relax, read and laugh outloud…  
  
QUICK NOTE: No one was hurt during the making of this story…screams in background…except for that guy but he's okay…background noise-NO I'M NOT- I'M ON FIRE!…um - he's okay…really)  
  
(KEY TERMINOLOGY: NNBD-Neo-Nazi Band Director; SSL: Squad Section Leader; KAPOS: Drum Major)  
  
THE NEXT MORNING AT PRACTICE…ALL THINGS WERE WELL UNTIL…  
  
NNBD#3: MOVE IT SWINE! DO YOU WANT A 3O MINUTE SNACK BREAK TODAY…  
  
(everyone groans)  
  
Random Trumpet Player: This sucks! I want to sleep in, you nazis!  
  
(abruptly cut off and is dragged off the field by SSL-Trumpet Leaders)  
  
Random Trumpet Player: You all will pay…you hear me!…I WANT ME FREEDOM!  
  
(Random Trumpet Player sent to evil band office…)  
  
Arpunk227:(now momentarily confused)…um…that was random…  
  
Random Clarinet Player #8: (totally blown away) whoa…that was so cool!  
  
Arpunk227: um, no it wasn't…  
  
Random Clarinet Player #8: No, I was actually thinking about spandex and tobey maguire…  
  
Arpunk227: (quick pause and goes into deep mental thought…) oooo…now that's cool!  
  
MEANWHILE IN THE EVIL BAND OFFICE…  
  
NNBD#3: This mortal being said that band (uses hand gestures as "" marks) "sucks" and that it wanted to  
  
"sleep in" and have "me freedom"  
  
(Long silent pause…then the NNBD's and Kapos all laugh in their evil way…)  
  
NNBD#1: Is this true MORTAL SOUL?  
  
Random Trumpet Player: um…well…yes? (quickly goes to the fetal position)  
  
(Another silent pause…more evil laughter after this)  
  
NNBD#1: (in a dark, satanic voice) FOOL! THERE IS NOT FREEDOM IN BAND…GETTING UP AT FIVE IN THE MORNING AND BEING IN THE SUN FOR EIGHT HOURS IS WHAT THE MARCHMASTERS IS ALL ABOUT (ALONG WITH REPEATING THE MARCHING SETS FOR TWO HOURS, DISGUSTING BAND UNIFORMS, FUNDRAISING OPPORTUNITIES THAT FAIL, AND OF COURSE THE OCCASIONAL ADAM SANDLER MOVIE DURING THOSE THREE HOUR DRIVES TO LINN-MARR/MARION!) NOW-FOR SAYING THOSE EVIL LINES…YOU MUST BECOME OUR MORTAL SLAVE…(small flames in background…)  
  
Random Trumpet Player: (really confused)…huh?  
  
NNBD#1: KAPOS #2!  
  
(KAPOS#2 magically appears…) KAPOS#2: Yes master…  
  
NNBD#1: Show this child "the box"…  
  
Random Trumpet Player: (really confused and scared)…huh?  
  
NNBD#1: YES-"THE BOX" (begins an evil psychotic laugh)  
  
Random Trumpet Player: AAAH!  
  
(Random Trumpet Player is sent to "the box" where all marching persons are eternally doomed to march forever…sad really…back to reality now…)  
  
NNBD#1: Now then…since that's taken care of…lets put KAPOS#1 to work…  
  
(Evil laughter in background…uh-oh…)  
  
  
  
BACK ON THE FIELD…  
  
Arpunk227: Dude…we've been doing the same set over again for the past three hours…  
  
Random Clarinet #12: I feel sick…(begins chucking)  
  
Arpunk227: Ooh…that's pretty…  
  
Random Clarinet #16: Holy washing machines! I think that's person is sick!  
  
Arpunk227: (dramatic sarcasm) Really…I thought she was doing fine-  
  
Random Bari Sax Player: (randomly wanders over and interrupts the conversation): Um…quick question-what's that in the sky…(points at a large, green, mysterious object…)  
  
Arpunk227: It's a bird-  
  
Random Clarinet Player #8: It's a plane-  
  
Random Flute Player (begins screaming and says): HOLY CRAP IT'S THE GREEN GOBLIN!  
  
Arpunk227: NO! -That's not how it goes! It's supposed to be-Arpunk227 checks the sky again-Oh wait it's the Green Goblin…never mind…  
  
(Spins by and drops a bomb - blows up a colorguard chick into a cloud of pink smoke…screams are now present)  
  
ALL: AAAAH! RUN AWAY!  
  
(Thus all hell breaks loose…evil laughter in background…then suddenly…could it be…it is! It's-)  
  
*IMPORTANT NOTE THAT'S PROBABLY DESTROYING THE ENTIRE PIECE…DUE TO THE NATURE OF THIS PIECE, THE AUTHOR (ARPUNK227) WILL FAST FORWARD THIS PIECE SEVERAL HOURS LATE ONCE THE CHAOS HAS CALMED DOWN A BIT…sort of…  
  
(Somewhere in a rainy night in New York City street…)  
  
Mary Jane: Wow Spiderman! You save my life again!  
  
Spiderman: I know…I'm just around the neighborhood I guess…  
  
Mary Jane: You're so pretty! I'll kiss you now!  
  
(Mary Jane and Spiderman were ready to kiss until they are abruptly stopped by arpunk227…arpunk227 in background: Wait a minute! What in the Sam Hill are you doing! This has absolutely noting to do with Marching Band! And why is it raining…it wasn't raining before…God Bless America! *Peeks over and sees Spiderman* cool…it's Spiderman in spandex…*smirks* sweet…quickly pulls of Spiderman's mask and makes out with the spandex star (…)  
  
Mary Jane: No fair – he's mine! (Mary Jane slaps arpunk227)  
  
Arpunk227: Oh yeah! (Arpunk227 slaps Mary Jane back)  
  
Mary Jane: Yeah!  
  
(Mary Jane and Arpunk227 give each other the "evil eye" and then begin a huge bitch fight-Green Goblin randomly shows up)  
  
Green Goblin: Rough night?  
  
Spiderman: Yep – it sure has been…do you want to get a beer or something?  
  
Green Goblin: Why not-this is really boring any ways… (Green Goblin and Spiderman leave fight scene and get drunk)  
  
*ANOTHER IMPORTANT NOTE THAT'S DESTROYING THE ENTIRE PIECE: UNFORTUNATELY, THE AUTHOR (ARPUNK227) HAS BEEN UNDER A LOT OF STRESS DUE TO FINALS AND SCHOOL AND STUFF (AND ALSO THE FACT THAT THE AUTHOR IS STILL OBSESSING OVER THE NEW "SPIDERMAN" MOVIE). THE AUTHOR GREATLY APOLOGIZES FOR THAT LAST SCENE AND WILL RETURN THE READER BACK TO THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED STORY TO WHERE IT SHOULD BE…at last….  
  
MEANWHILE…BACK ON THE FIELD (two hours later)…  
  
Random Euphonium/Baritone/Small Tuba Player: (confused) um…what just happened…  
  
Random Pit Player: (begins shaking convulsively) Can I go home now…People are starting to scare me…  
  
Random Clarinet Player #9: I want my mommy…(quickly hugs random trumpet player and then the two instrument players make out)  
  
Random Colorguard Person: (acting like nothing has happened) Is my hair okay…I hope it's not ruined…I have this wonderful date with a freshman marchmaster tonight and it's going to be "tight"  
  
KAPOS#4: (randomly shows up) GET BACK ON THE FIELD YOU SISSIES…YOU ARE POWERLESS AGAINST OUR EVIL FORCES! BWHA HA H- (begins coughing during the evil laughing sequence…then begins to hack) Note to self: Need work on the "evil laugh"…  
  
(Everyone slowly emerges back onto the field and KAPOS#1 awakes from its "bizarre nightmare"…)  
  
KAPOS#1: Dude…that was weird…AAAH! (Discovers to be holding onto a scary looking mask…) AAAH! NOOOO! I've gone insane! AAAH!  
  
(Arpunk227 magically returns back from previous scene looking fine) Arpunk227: Did I miss something while I was gone…huh? (Stares at the screaming KAPOS#1) That person really needs some help…seriously… (Shrugs and walks back home) 


End file.
